The Douche Bag has an official name

I'm so excited right now.
As a collective group, we have coined the uber guido hair don't as "The douche bag." I've thrown the term around outside our circle and got reactions similar to "baby tongue," or "farting on tits." So speaking with my friend Paul, who did a photo story following a group of Staten Island boys over the course of their high school experience, I learned that the hair cut is called

The Tape up!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tape+up

Also known as a taper. A type of haircut originally attributed to young urban black men and then popularized by 5th generation 16-26 year old Italian-Americans living in the New York/New Jersey suburbs. It is like a fade that stops right above the ear and about 2-3 inches above the neckline, allowing the hair on the rest of the head to be longer. If taken to the next level, by meticulously putting 3 pounds of gel onto the scalp and twisting locks of hair into "spikes," it becomes a blow out. Accessories required to complete the "neo-guido" look: Black Armani Exchange/FCUK sleeveless shirt, Diesel Jeans, Armani Exchange belt, tasteless "jewel" encrusted necklace and/or watch, white Nike Air Force Ones, orange tan in the middle of December, waxed eyebrows, fake Brooklyn accent, IQ less than 90, Nextel permanently flipped open and implanted into the right hand, entry level luxury car or "hooked-up" ricer with italian flag reflector above the rear fender, Growing up Gotti Season One DVD. Italian heritage not necessary.

Tape up #1: Yo son im goin to da club with John Gotti tonite, nigga.
Tape up #2: Yo getdafuckouttahea nigga, you gotta show up to traffic court tonite for doin' 75 in a 20 in the G35 your mafioso father bought you.
Tape up #1: It's arite man my uncle Vincenzo is the prosecuta, ima be good son!
Tape up #2: Word, son! Hit up that nigga Gotti!
Tape up #1: Yo I was lyin son, I dont know him. I just wanted you to think I was da shit. I gotta stay home tonite anyway. Grandma made lasagna.
Tape up #2:..............yo your a pussy, kid.
Tape up #1: I know.....son.

Now there's more, when the douche bag get's that sick sonic the hedgehog gel japanimation spike, it morphs into a new category
The BLOW OUT
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blow+out
The most ridiculous looking haircut to ever be sported by white people. It's an extra long tape up that is gelled into spikes, making the hair look like an extra greasy afro. A required hairstyle to grind with the true sluts in ANY Long Island club. The most famous, and arguably the original, blow outs are worn by Carmine and John Gotti Agnello, stars of A&E's "Growing Up Gotti." For accessories to complete the look, see tape up.

Blow out: Yo i spent 45 minutes gellin my fuckin heaa bitch you betta suck my salsicc'
True Slut: Ok but yo betta take me to the tanning salon when were done cuz im stahtin to turn white again.
Blow out: Arite whateva the fuck you say you fuckin cunt slut.
True Slut: Hee hee hee, Vinnie you ah so funny.
Blow out: Dats right bitch, I know John Gotti now get in my G35 and suck my dick.


Now my heart is full.