My co-worker Rafael got really into Halloween... scared the shit out of me.
10/31/07
Weight-Lifting Accident...
inspired by RC, i think this hearkens back to our original post, in the spirit of accidental shits everywhere...
The Cockroach FAQ
click the above link to find out the answer to every single question you've ever had about ROACHES...
Best question: Do cockroaches bite?
Worst answer: Only when you sleep.
10/30/07
Buddhist seek assistance with neighbor dog.
Buddhist seek assistance with helping neighbor dog re enter life
stream. Cannot do myself because of religion. Dog loudness make
enlightenment hard. Dog need to reincarnate.
Can trade free yoga lesson or teach to meditate.
eBay Feedback Profile for tryork5ifp
read the comments, jems like...
GREAT! As promised, just 3 drops in her drink and she was mine for the night A+
A+ The 8 quart enema kit makes a tasteful icebreaker on those awkward 1st dates!
Taliban Training Manuals arrived dicreetly packed and labelled.PLSsend 9000 more
10/29/07
I Was Made For Lovin' You Baby...
Yes...
this REALLY happened...
click on the title link for the most eye opening moment of television EVER...
(As Reccomended by FOT Fan _ike _andell)
10/26/07
10/25/07
The Older guys
Gram Parsons! This is the inspiration for my next music video, think this crossed with The talented Mr. Ripley.
Bob Dylan is the sell-outiest
Kelly Nestruck
from The Guardian music blog
How many roads must a man drive down before you can call him The Man? The answer my friends, is one road, if that road is driven down in a gas-guzzling Cadillac Escalade.
Bob Dylan the "countercultural icon" - note the extremely sarcastic quotation marks - has sold out so many times that you'd think nothing would be shocking anymore. He's gone electric, he's gone Christian, he released a live album exclusively at Starbucks. He's even written a song for a movie starring Katie Holmes.
But none of that bothers me. It's the year 2007. Who cares? He's a maverick! He's Dylan!
His latest act of judas-ery, however, is too much for even a cynical, consumerist nihilist like me. Why on earth would someone who possesses the intelligence of Dylan shill for the Cadillac Escalade? Has he not heard that the climes, they are a-changing? I understand the ads are a tie-in with his XM radio show, but SUVs - especially luxury SUVs - are repugnant vehicles.
from The Guardian music blog
How many roads must a man drive down before you can call him The Man? The answer my friends, is one road, if that road is driven down in a gas-guzzling Cadillac Escalade.
Bob Dylan the "countercultural icon" - note the extremely sarcastic quotation marks - has sold out so many times that you'd think nothing would be shocking anymore. He's gone electric, he's gone Christian, he released a live album exclusively at Starbucks. He's even written a song for a movie starring Katie Holmes.
But none of that bothers me. It's the year 2007. Who cares? He's a maverick! He's Dylan!
His latest act of judas-ery, however, is too much for even a cynical, consumerist nihilist like me. Why on earth would someone who possesses the intelligence of Dylan shill for the Cadillac Escalade? Has he not heard that the climes, they are a-changing? I understand the ads are a tie-in with his XM radio show, but SUVs - especially luxury SUVs - are repugnant vehicles.
10/24/07
10/23/07
Steve Vai shred satire
This goes out to Senor Ding Dong... btw, Youtube took down an FOT post of mine from the summer in which someone overdubbed an Yngwie Malmsteen guitar lesson in which he states Ï am your God leetle boys! Still searching for it, then I will repost!
www.pullyourpantsupman.com
click on the title link to learn more about the pants-lifting craze thats sweeping the nation's youth...
SHREDDING!
This dude went and overdubbed horrible guitar solos over classic "guitar god" moments. Jake E. Lee shreds while Ozzy claps along like a tard. Yeah!!!
10/22/07
10/21/07
Happy Halloween From KISS
if this Peter Criss solo doesn't crack you up... consider that this was perfomed live, Halloween Night, on the "Paul Lynde Halloween Special"... gotta get the master tapes of THAT train wreck...
10/20/07
Optimus Prime for sale
Everyone start donating all your extra cash to me. Optimus Prime is on ebay... yes the real one. He's only at $55K but I'll no dout need more so click & donate many times... small price to pay to save the planet & the human race.
UPDATE: auction ended at $55,200.00
10/19/07
Your moment of Zen...on demand
http://thedailyshow.com/ now shows many many many episodes all the way back to early 1999, there is rumor to go all the way back to Craig's first show !!!
Check it. and here's a little taste
Check it. and here's a little taste
10/18/07
... And i'm shaving off my MUFF for you...
click the above link for a MUFFtastic video...
but beware... it's for MUFF LOVERS ONLY!!!!
10/17/07
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
Another famous internet dating transaction. This one hit my inbox about a week ago. From Craigslist NY, here's the ad followed by the response.
The Ad
The Response
reuters.com - No deal! Woman's bid for rich husband deemed poor offer
The Ad
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes
at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in
mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I
don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make $500K or more on this board? Any wives?
Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average
around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000
won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who
was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's
not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing
right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop
dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the
story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster
with services or other commercial interests
The Response
PostingID: 432279810
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your
predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple
a terrible business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S.,
what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party
and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks
will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact,
it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute
certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins
in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a
buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good
business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd
rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the
following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your
beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that
makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets.
So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly
beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it
hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that
the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and
then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to
enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
reuters.com - No deal! Woman's bid for rich husband deemed poor offer
Pussy Splash
i get the most drenching pussy splash every time i look at this sparkling tuxedo...
i better to get to the gym fast so i can have a snowball's chance in hell of getting mounted by this magnificent STEED!!!
his royal doucheness 'fitness' page
wow... don't mean to get Yikes and Party Sarge hot and bothered, but he is single.
his royal doucheness
click on the above link to actually purchase "merchandise" from this dazzling individual...
Uberdouche Bigelow on match.com
Read email exchange below then check out douche's web site (click on title of this post)... an amazing specimen and clearly a runner-up in the FOT awards 'biggest douche' category.
> > From:
> > Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 11:01 AM
> > To:
> >
> > Subject: Match Nightmare
> >
> >
> >
> > So I winked at this guy on match. Should have known
> > better considering his
> > screen name was "IvyLeagueAlum"
> >
> >
> >
> > He responds with the following email..
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in
> > the middle of the
> > Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to
> > this area of town to
> > shop/go out/visit/explore?
> >
> > I went to an Ivy League school - the University of
> > Pennsylvania - for my
> > undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate
> > degree in management
> > (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to
> > school?
> >
> > What activities do you currently participate in to
> > stay in shape? I work out
> > 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise
> > regularly? I am 6 feet tall,
> > 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry
> > if that sounds rude,
> > impolite or even downright crass, but I have been
> > deceived before by
> > inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be
> > upfront and honest on
> > initial contact...
> >
> > I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for
> > Limited Brands (Bath &
> > Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc). Enjoy any of
> > our stores/divisions?
> >
> > Do you have any other recent pictures you care to
> > share? I have many others
> > if you care to see them.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > John
> > sgnu88 at hot mail
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> > So, I in turn send him a polite "No Thanks" thru the
> > match system which send
> > him the following email:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're
> > just not a good match.
> > Good luck in your search!
> >
> > Our Portraits didn't match on:
> >
> >
> >
> > Â. Personality
> >
> > ------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> > To which he replies the following:
> >
> >
> > I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me,
> > and therefore have to
> > impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not
> > vice versa. 6 pictures
> > of just your head and your inability to answer a
> > simple question lets me
> > know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a
> > trainer on the side, in fact,
> > I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
> >
> >
> >
> > So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead
> > of trying to turn it
> > around, just get to the gym! I will even give you
> > one free training
> > session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on
> > Hot or Not, Ivy League
> > grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over
> > 1200 lbs., has had lunch
> > with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the
> > top school in the
> > country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a
> > Beemer convertible, has
> > been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's
> > Best dressed, etc. Oh,
> > that is right, there aren't any more of those!
> >
> >
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> >
> > John
> >
> > http://www.johnfitzgeraldpage.com
> >
>
> >
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
> > From:
> > Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 11:01 AM
> > To:
> >
> > Subject: Match Nightmare
> >
> >
> >
> > So I winked at this guy on match. Should have known
> > better considering his
> > screen name was "IvyLeagueAlum"
> >
> >
> >
> > He responds with the following email..
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in
> > the middle of the
> > Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to
> > this area of town to
> > shop/go out/visit/explore?
> >
> > I went to an Ivy League school - the University of
> > Pennsylvania - for my
> > undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate
> > degree in management
> > (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to
> > school?
> >
> > What activities do you currently participate in to
> > stay in shape? I work out
> > 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise
> > regularly? I am 6 feet tall,
> > 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry
> > if that sounds rude,
> > impolite or even downright crass, but I have been
> > deceived before by
> > inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be
> > upfront and honest on
> > initial contact...
> >
> > I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for
> > Limited Brands (Bath &
> > Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc). Enjoy any of
> > our stores/divisions?
> >
> > Do you have any other recent pictures you care to
> > share? I have many others
> > if you care to see them.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > John
> > sgnu88 at hot mail
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> > So, I in turn send him a polite "No Thanks" thru the
> > match system which send
> > him the following email:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're
> > just not a good match.
> > Good luck in your search!
> >
> > Our Portraits didn't match on:
> >
> >
> >
> > Â. Personality
> >
> > ------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> > To which he replies the following:
> >
> >
> > I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me,
> > and therefore have to
> > impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not
> > vice versa. 6 pictures
> > of just your head and your inability to answer a
> > simple question lets me
> > know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a
> > trainer on the side, in fact,
> > I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
> >
> >
> >
> > So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead
> > of trying to turn it
> > around, just get to the gym! I will even give you
> > one free training
> > session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on
> > Hot or Not, Ivy League
> > grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over
> > 1200 lbs., has had lunch
> > with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the
> > top school in the
> > country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a
> > Beemer convertible, has
> > been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's
> > Best dressed, etc. Oh,
> > that is right, there aren't any more of those!
> >
> >
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> >
> > John
> >
> > http://www.johnfitzgeraldpage.com
> >
>
> >
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
10/16/07
Punch in the face 1990's style
Total convergence. This sums up many of the things running through my head as of late. Well, the 1990s & the undead & believing in your dreams... specifically. Dancing too but slightly less. I have said too much.
Dog costume
Look closely, that is NOT a suit. It's the dyed groomed hair. You are an idiot. Follow the link for nine more doggy costumes.
10/15/07
fill-in-the-blank VIKING
Sure we love Techno Viking but what to do when you want a little Disco Viking or Marching-band Viking, Raga Viking or Michael Jackson Viking? I'm not recommending that you watch them all but I will rest easy just knowing they are there... just in case. Thank you Time Magazine persons of the year!
i want my FOT!!!
basically a response post to "all systems F-A-R-T"... but worth noting i thought...
To TD: Thanks for Everything... F.O.T
for the "full effect" click on the photo to see it "full size.."
TD was GREATLY missed at this past F.O.T. Moment...
we consumed MANY MANY goodies from the sea in her honor...!
a day in the life of a bot... (remind me)
do you think Royksopp has ANY idea that their "hit song" is a lame caveman Geico commerical that's been playing for three years in the states?
i know this is a long ass video... but cute and very fun if you've got the time...
All systems F-A-R-T
I've been meaning to post this photo for months for no reason other than it being the best photo ever taken ever. Tonight I watched a beautiful doc called "Home Movie" that actually featured this robot & his creator. This non-automaton is named AROK and there is no mention in the film about this photo, that big bush, nor my love of tan lines.
10/14/07
10/12/07
Star Wars Trumpet Solo...
recommended by FOT fan "Malibu"...
she especially wants you to check out the scenes where this talented young lady uses her trumpet as a "laser weapon"
she should definitely compete in the miss FOT pageant...
10/11/07
Spartacus Oysters or Snails?
I'm partial to oysters myself, but this goes out to the oyster and snail lovers, you know who you are and what you're doing this weekend!
10/10/07
10/9/07
There's Got To Be Morning After...
you'd be surprised how there is literally like HUNDREDS of movies on youtube, condensed into 90 seconds, and set to Herb Albert and The Tijuana Brass... None the less... one of my favourite movies in 90 seconds... hahah
10/8/07
LEO SAYER / ALL DAYER
Anyone Up For A LEO??? (click title link to discover just what exactly a "Leo Sayer, All Dayer" is...)
GIUDO POWER IS COMING!
VINNY the GUIDO .. the 13 year old is now the most famous guido in Brooklyn. Check him out.
10/7/07
The TechTonic the lastes dance
Introducing "The Techtonic", the latest dance craze coming out of France. According to Frank from OMGBLOG all you need is a "futuristic" haircut and electrofag style.
Electrofag style??? I know I'm confused myself, but worry not I'm here to walk you through it. Believe it or not this part techno, part spastic seizure, part electric boogaloo dance is taking over modern Europe and it will be just seconds before it reaches American shores. But hold on you don't ave to be the only one left out, remember how you felt when Voguing became hip?
Electrofag style??? I know I'm confused myself, but worry not I'm here to walk you through it. Believe it or not this part techno, part spastic seizure, part electric boogaloo dance is taking over modern Europe and it will be just seconds before it reaches American shores. But hold on you don't ave to be the only one left out, remember how you felt when Voguing became hip?
And I RAN
"you can deny the holocaust all you want, but you can't deny there is something between us."
10/5/07
BLACK METAL
As thanks for adding me to FOT, I give you an old favorite. An entire VENOM concert with all the songs edited out.
Battle Wages Over Found Severed Leg
this is once again from viewer Mat_ (who is M_rina's BF). he's now been upgraded to newest team FOT member. look out for "Señor Ding Dong"
10/4/07
Supermen!
and also
Just thinking about ultrafantastic superbattles, after the violent postings. Danny Bonnaduce vs. Paris Hilton vs. Superman vs. Spiderwoman vs. the FOT tag team? We would be unstoppable.
Get some sort of wrestling belt fo sho.
Paris Hilton on David Letterman
Apparently David Letterman & I have something in common. We hate Paris Hilton & just want her to go the fuck away already. Ouch. Look at him go after her. So sad. Sorry if this is soooo last week ago.
Sept-28-2007
Sept-28-2007
Connecting the dots, pitying the fools.
Okay, the men's lingerie thing also has an ad with Mr. T in a tank saying "Quit yer whinin." Mr. T has huge balls. See the connection? Hmmm?
Oh Damn!!!!
I forgot all about the cereal. Pants and hats off to Dr. Fecks.
DANNY IS SO THE MAN! HE IS HOT..
REALITY TV AWARDS whats next? ooh speaking of which .. when are the FOT Awards?? what does the person get?? Like what does the FOT award look like??
Repositório da Marilia
From Cousin Marie...
She sends four air kisses with no physical contact
" AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE BALLS ??????"
Che cojones!!!
She sends four air kisses with no physical contact
" AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE BALLS ??????"
Che cojones!!!
10/3/07
10/2/07
10/1/07
THE WORLD WITHOUT US?
what would happen to everything if tomorrow AM there was no people left on earth?
i'm loving all the mulitimedia on the website (click above link...)
be sure to check out "did you know?"
i'm loving all the mulitimedia on the website (click above link...)
be sure to check out "did you know?"
Everything you always wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask: Mad Dr. Bernardo
I think Dr. Bernardo should MC the FOT awards!
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